Julien Baker - Appointments

Being Christian and queer might sound like a huge contradiction. But Julien Baker, a young Tennessee musician somehow has found a way to reconcile this two parts of her life and embrace both at the same time. The way to get there wasn't easy and she had to face mental health issues and substances addiction. Music has been her escape and a part of her healing; by not holding anything for herself, she is able to get honest lyrics full of human fragility.

In Appointments, she goes to a dark part of her life, as she recalls depression holding her and making every the most simple chore an impossible task to accomplish. She speaks openly about what most see as a taboo, the raw emotion of feeling trapped in a pit of hopelessness. She addresses somebody in her life: "You think I'm not trying. I don't argue, it's not worth the effort to lie". The people who don't go through it will never understand how it feels.

With a sparse piano and a languid guitar, she accompanies her confession. It is a unique chance to learn and understand about how depression feels like (real depression, not Adele "my lover doesn't love me depression"). She needs to make sure that she doesn't miss any more appointments, seems like a little step, just showing up, but for where she was, those appointments seem like something impossible and worthless to achieve.

At 22, with an androgynous look that could be very well the one of Justin Bieber's early stages, Baker sounds more assured and wise than many "mature" musicians. She has gone through an internal war, and she has come victorious from it, and know she is able to transform her pain into something beautiful able to touch and resonate in the hearts of many people. If you are able to come to peace with your inner demons, you can surely find a way to make your sexual identity and your religious faith compatible.